i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
