Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
