my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
