Me too!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
