At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
