so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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