How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish you could order shots online.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
