More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
