I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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