I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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