They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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