she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
