Yo dont text me then not text me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
