The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
