No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize