Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
