i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
