All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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