This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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