he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
