I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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