; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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