your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
