I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
