I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
