I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
