Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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