Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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