She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
