I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
