if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His hands were made for my vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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