Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
