For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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