No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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