her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
