FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
