Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
