I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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