Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
