i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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