I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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