Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize