But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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