found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
