come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
