I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
