Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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