Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
