I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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