He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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