She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
