but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
