Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bring me that man meat
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
