Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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