I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.