remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
