were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish you could order shots online.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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