The maid of honor just puked.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
