I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
