you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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