talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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