Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
