There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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