Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Barsexuality is the new black.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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