We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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