hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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