umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
