it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
