I wish I only lived at night.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
