I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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