Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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