I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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