my shit smells like andre
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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