he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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