bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
